Show me a man who has never experienced pain in this world, then I will tell you that such a man does not exist. Roads are meant to be travelled, but sometimes they can get pretty rough. Life is such a road writes Ademola Adeoye.
It can lead to excitement and advantage or it can lead to failure and despair. Life is never a joy without sadness, neither is it a success without failure or gain without pain. No matter who travels life's paths there will be obstacles to face and pitfalls to avoid.
Jayne Crisp writes "The impact or initial
stage of the crisis often leaves people feeling numb, shocked, dazed out of
control and in a state of disbelief and under ability." Often at this
point, the safety and security needs of the person in crisis are primary.
How a person handles a crisis will often
determine whether he or she will learn from the experience. At this
point, people tend to reassess their goals, plans and even re-evaluate their
whole life. Also, a positive spiritual decision can lead to life-changing
opportunities. The shattering experience of a divorce, death of a loved one, or
loss of a job can often become a turning point in a person's life.
The phases of pain build pressure; a person
reaches the breaking point where he might not be able to cope because they are
out of control for him. The need for an urgent and emergency escape route stirs
up leading to disorganization.
Pain experienced will either make one a
better or bitter person depending on the way the concerned individual reacts to
it. Although it is not easy choosing the positive reactions, the question to
consider deeply while making our choice is " do l allow things to get worse
or better ?"Already the pains must have inflicted an unwanted situation or
experience on the individual but his choice should be to get things normalized
and not more abnormal. I have discovered that the average person
experiencing pains, most times, react negatively at least during the initial
period.
This may diminish as people try to console or
motivate him. A Common belief is that you must first show remorse for every
pain. A mother in the African setting who lost her child without showing
remorse would have herself to blame for the judgments her neighbours will exact
on her. Such names as a witch, wicked mother, and the likes will be accrued to her
without her consent or respect for her choice. The positive-minded person looks
beyond the hurt into what lesson to learn or what better way to prevent a
reoccurrence.
Also, the hurting feeling of no one cares for
me is most times experienced by children from divorced backgrounds but a secret
is that people love you when they discover that you love yourself. Believe in
yourself for others to believe in you. They pity you when you pity yourself. I
have chosen to ever celebrate myself because failure to do this makes others
pity me rather than celebrate me.
Some of the cheapest reactions of people to
pain are worry and anxiety. These rob us of our inner strength and make us see
problems that can't be solved. You need to know that problem is called a problem
because there is a solution to it.
Instead of seeing possibilities in situations
and circumstances, they see obstacles, impossibilities, and an incompetent God
who cannot handle their lives. But the good news is that God is ever competent,
He is able to do all things and His word says 'with Him all things are
possible'. Worry comes from dwelling on ourselves and our problems instead of
dwelling on God and His solutions.
HOW TO
HANDLE YOUR PAIN
Love yourself no matter
Expect a solution
Believe in yourself and believe in God
Pains are tools in God's hand to breed the
kingdom's champions. A faithful endurance of this school of hard knocks builds
in man godly, tested, and unshaken characters. God uses pain to build in us
courage that refuses to succumb to problems and circumstances for nothing great
will ever happen to a man who lacks the in-built spirit of persistence and
fortitude.
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