By Daisy Oluwatobi
Every husband desires to be second to none in their relationship with their spouse. This is quite normal and natural except that some husbands may not be able to draw a healthy line between their wives' individuality and their own self-centered desires. They see themselves as the pivot over which the entire life of their wives must revolve. They are ethnocentric and highly possessive of their wives.
An over-jealous husband is a type that is
easily threatened by any other relationship the wife may have with friends,
relatives, or even her personal interests and activities. She is not supposed to
have any of such. They feel very insecure and would do any weird thing to prove
to their wives that they possess full.
She is not ownership of her time. She is supposed to have a life of her own. He sees that he must be the very centre of every
aspect of her life. Nothing more and nothing less.
Many over-jealous husbands have imprisoned
their wives both emotionally and physically. For such a man, he doesn't see any
reason why for instance his wife should be a career woman no matter her level
of education or exposure. He cannot bear to think about the fact that his wife
could be answerable to another man because he is her boss. A very jealous
husband would prefer his wife to stay at home and be answerable to only him
even if this means stifling her natural talents and abilities. Even if he permits
her to work or do business to enhance the family income. She does everything
under his strict supervision. There will be many rules of dos and don’ts
which the woman must adhere to or else.
Here are 6 useful suggestions to live with an
overtly jealous husband and have a marriage worthy of emulation in spite of his
person.
1. If you have a husband that is overtly
jealous. realise that you have a problem in your hand that needs to be tackled
with care and a lot of caution. In hospitals, there are some exclusive health
cases that are placed in the intensive care unit to give them special treatment
so as to avoid casualty. Go ahead and put your over-jealous husband in the
intensive care unit of your heart. In this unit, you are poised to handle him
with care. Just like any other patient, he would recover sooner or later and
you would reap the dividends of a happy marriage.
2. Embark on building up his
self-confidence by giving him the assurance that he is the number one in your
life. You will accomplish this by the way you accept, admire, and support him.
3. Watch out for aspects of his life
where you can freely express or verbalise your appreciation of him, For
instance, when he opens up a tight jar or helps you to lift up heavy objects at
home, praise his physical strength and tell him how very good it is to have a
man as strong, as him by you all the time, Compliment his looks - broad
shoulders, deep voice, strong hands, etc. Also compliment his abilities, skills, and achievements and tell him that he is the only man in the whole world as far
as you know. Form the habit of showering praises at him.
4. Make him the hub of
your activities as much as possible. Dot about him. Give him all the attention he needs especially when in the company of your friends. Don't ever
neglect him when you are having conversations with friends. Concentrate more on
him than on your friends.
5. Elevate an over-jealous husband above other
people, interests, and activities. Other people in this context could be your
children, friends, relatives, etc. A man can become jealous of his children if
he feels that you give them more attention than him. Much as your children need
your attention and indeed your mutual attention. They should never take your
husband’s position. Once an over-jealous husband has the assurance that no one
is posing a threat to his position in your life. He will be more likely to give
you the freedom to enjoy other people, interests, and activities.
6. Always seek his consent before accepting
any invitation to attend any function especially when you have to attend it
alone. Be submissive to him. Make him feel that he is in charge at all times.
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